If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
