C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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