my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
