Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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