ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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