Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
