I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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