Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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