you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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