thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
