So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
