I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
