Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
