I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
