After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
