i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
