But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
