Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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