so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
