but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
