I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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