he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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