I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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