trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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