Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
