and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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