Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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