i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
