lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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