Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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