and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
