He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
