My first STD was from a foam party
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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