My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Randomize
