He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
