Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
