So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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