Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
