Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
