I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
