Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
