lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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