please come you make the beer taste better
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
