3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My vagina just recognized that song.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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