man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
