Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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