Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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