I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
