How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
