Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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