I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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