His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
