You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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