why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
