I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
